As I've been searching the internet for answers (sometimes the not knowing can be bliss but that ain't me!), I've come across the most beautifully written and emotive piece of writing; not just because it's about down syndrome but because... well, it's beautiful:
http://www.kellehampton.com/2010/01/nella-cordelia-birth-story.html?commentPage=16
Since making my mind up that I won't risk miscarriage for an amnio and that, actually, knowing one way or the other won't change my mind as to whether to continue with my pregnancy; it doesn't stop me wondering what it may be like to share my life with somebody that can bring so much happiness and warmth. Am I digging my head in the sand? I don't think so... I have no other option so I'll accept what God gives, knowing that He wouldn't give me a gift that I couldn't handle.
There is so much to my story and my thinking that even as I write that; I tell myself that there is 97% chance that everything will be 'fine', 'well' or 'normal' but that just doesn't seem fair to all the people I've worked with or known that are special in my life. Life isn't 'fine' or 'normal' for many people so I find it difficult when people speak as such. Perhaps if my life had been different I may have a different view, but I'm speaking for right here and now, knowing that I make the right decision for me and I'm honest enough not to judge anybody else.
As I continue with this journey, I will continue to research and post; even if it's to the world of cyberspace... perhaps one day the information I share may just help somebody. That's what God made me for.
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