Funny isn't it? What a difference the sun can make? Today, the sun is not really, what you'd call 'shining' but it's light and bright and the air has a certain 'spring' feel about it. It lightens the soul and makes everything seem like it's gonna be ok.
Baby is squirming every day, which is nice because it means that on a daily basis we can check in with each other - I give the thumbs up and a sweet murmer or two; just to reassure.
I'm so busy at the moment though that I don't give much thought during the day about 'what may be'; but the thoughts still come to me during the night - sometimes as nightmares, ones that you can't scrub out that easily. I try to remain positive but the unconcious mind has a canny way of making sure you're dealing with your thoughts and emotions anywhich way it can- namely dreams if you're too busy during the day.
I've finished reading about Down Syndrome now; I'm not learning anything new from anything I'm reading. I'm all clued up and mentally I'm just waiting for my 20 (well actually it's schedulled for when I'm 22) week scan for any more markers. If there are any, then hey ho, my chances increase. If there aren't any, then hey ho, still means nothing in the scheme of things. I cringe when I think about walking into the scanning room - just because I don't really want to know. I will go though, there may be something else the pick up that I'll need to handle before the birth and I know I'm strong enough.
I'm currently getting set to marry the father of my baby; somebody who I hold very dear and I love very much. A lovely May wedding (2 months before Baby is due) - to have and to hold, from this day forward, in sickness and in health; that's what we'll swear to and I know it's the truth. Love really can, conquer all.
Until next time dear friends. x
